Kobe Bryant, my childhood hero — Reefy Blogs (2024)

I can never love another stranger the way I loved Kobe Bryant. It just could never happen again. It was the perfect mix of his moment in history and the age I was at when he came up.

When Kobe died, my world was rocked. I had not been following him for quite some time. I would even say that I was at a point in my life where I had questioned my entire history and relationship to Kobe.

However, when I got that text message saying “Dude Kobe died!”. Everything changed. As I mourned, I reverted to the same adoring being and was once again very much in touch with what he had meant to me as a young child.

This did carry with it some complications that I’d like to address but first…

I’d like to show you a comprehensive yet abridged history of my relationship with Kobe Bryant and basketball. I will try to be as pithy as possible. Which given the topic, is not very pithy.

When I was young I was obsessed with basketball. I played all the time and didn’t do much else for a while. I was very one-dimensional with it.

My parents are two incredibly academically oriented people. Both PHDs and very scholarly in their pursuits. They are very serious people.

My mom was quite an academic, having studied comparative literature at high levels, her love of learning and education was a tremendous force in our household. The deep emphasis upon the importance of education was second to none.

Which is good, as education and learning are key factors toward garnering success and independence.

In her world, the arts and the brain were heavily favored.

Then I come into the picture. Basketball was my first obsession in a life filled with many. I used to practice basketball 6 hours a day. I was pretty good.

I still am pretty good.

But there was always a concern that basketball played a disproportionate role in my life. Soon basketball and schoolwork would be at odds.

I’d get a report card from school. “Sherif is a bright student but did not perform up to his potential”

This was a sentence guaranteed in any report card I was to ever receive. It almost seemed plagiarized year to year. What are they filling out a template!?

Naturally, my parents were very upset with my performance and frustrated that I wasn’t meeting my potential and focusing more diligently up on schoolwork.

Soon basketball became the natural culprit. My interest and obsession with basketball were viewed as a factor that took attention away from school and It certainly did. My earliest basketball memories were of my cousins who were Michael Jordan fans (Chicago Bulls) so I kind of emulated that behavior for a while.

Cheering on Air Jordan during the mid-’90s was a very natural thing to do. It was bandwagoning for sure, but history was being made and I hadn’t even been alive for the other stuff.When I was young my mom made me write movie reviews for every movie I watched. So I may be one of the only young children to have ever written a movie review on Space Jam.

(I thought this tangent was appropriate to show the way my mom operated and the philosophical struggles that occurred)

So I cheered for Jordan and developed my sense of what the game of basketball was during this era.

(I’m sure my parents were not thrilled that my role model had skipped college to play sports.)

Whatever it was, I saw something in him that resonated with me. There was an audacity to his play and willpower that gave him a very charismatic presence.

This mild enjoyment of Kobe turned more serious when one day I was walking outside during recess and a kid name Brendan Shae’s had some purple shoes. They were Kobe’s Crazy 8’s.

Later that weekend, without understanding my drive I called up every single shoe store in the area asking if they had them in my size. None did. But my fan-hood was born

Eventually, I did get the Kobe Sneakers. I got the Adidas Kobe 1’s. At the time, they were by far the most expensive sneaker I’d ever bought for $125 dollars. They were allegedly designed after the Audi TT automobile with his wife playing a role in their production. This lead to me announcing to everyone that I wanted to drive an Audi TT. The marketing was deep and Kobe way exposing my materialism and the degree to which the marketing was working on me. The shoes were really heavy, uncomfortable, and literally slowed me down while playing basketball. They were horrible shoes and it showed. Kobe never wore them during games. They were bricks and were called out by the fellow members of my 5th and 6th-grade basketball team as heavy and dumb shoes. They would make a lot of noise as I ran down the court. This was exacerbated by my horrible running stride, but also I was wearing footwear designed after German machinery.

I remember watching Kobe play Christmas Day, and before the game, he said “Adidas gave me a nice Christmas present, and he revealed these yellow sneakers that were NOT the ones I was wearing and had bought to be like my idol. I looked at my dad and he saw both the devastation and the deluded hope of thinking I’d ever owned these new sneakers, mere weeks after my most extravagant footwear purchase ever.

This was certainly a palpable form of consumerism my love of Kobe was galvanized into.

Anyway, I began to become associated with being the biggest Kobe fan. I played for the 5th and 6th-grade basketball team.

My parents began to resent basketball a little and tried to loudly pepper in other influences. One time when my mom was teaching she dropped me off at a Ceramic painting shop as a form of creative childcare.

This was a store where you’d buy blank ceramics and paint them. My mom wanted to instill some artistic sensibilities and have me deviate away from basketball to a degree. This is what I painted, equipped with obnoxious legalese.

One tough memory about Kobe happened at Toys R Us. My father and I were walking through and I told him I wanted to find a Kobe Bryant item to buy. At the height of his exasperation with my all-encompassing focus on Kobe, he said “f*ck Kobe.” Incredibly hurt… I whipped out the name of his mensch of a boss, who treated my father with the utmost reverence and class. He had even been over to our house for a dignified wonderful and iconic meal. His name was Dr. Harper. “f*ck Harper,” I said. My dad got really mad and walked out of Toys R Us without explaining himself. I didn’t get a toy that day, and it was the biggest fight my Dad and I had ever had at that moment.

(We’d later put it to shame)

I think Kobe is an absolutely remarkable player, he is so graceful and smooth and has such willpower and drive. He is solely focused on his mission. But in my estimation, he was also a selfish and greedy player. He didn’t mature as quickly as needed be to adequately mitigate the complications that come with competing for stardom at an early age.

I mean he did great, legend for sure, but it’s not what it could have been. Let’s be honest with ourselves Shaquille O’Neal and Kobe Bryant could have and should have been the winners of 10 NBA championships.

This could have been possible. I largely attribute that to Kobe’s larger-than-life ambition.

He didn’t have the patience and cared more about it being “his team” than him and Shaq being indisputably the greatest dynasty in NBA history. It was theirs to lose. Short-term thinking, inevitable egos, Bickering, and competitive spirits destroyed that Ten-peat.

I’d like to tell you some moments of Kobe I love. Some Iconic to many, and some just little plays. Kobe’s Relentlessness and willpower are some of my favorite attributes and I believe the following stories demonstrate various angles of that.

KOBES HOBBY

Kobe was once asked what a hobby was. He replied instantly “basketball”. The report continued … you can’t say basketball if you had to pick something that wasn’t basketball. Kobe thinks of a minute,

“I would go home and on the XBOX select the Lakers vs the Pistons .”

I really enjoy this all-encompassing drive towards one goal. I think it’s the next level.

This showed his all-encompassing dedication and focus on his goal.

KOBE INJURIES

Another moment I love is clearly shown in this photo and then later exemplified more heroically in this play

ACHILLES TENDON

Kobe Bryant snapped his Achilles tendon which is a notoriously sharp, crack followed by debilitating pain. Kobe still had to shoot two free throws. He swished both of them.

By the time he was interviewed at the end of the game he said. “Chauncey Billups has the record for the fastest time recovering from a snapped Achilles tendon, so that’s the aim”. This was not a verbatim quote, but the idea was that Kobe had gotten competitive on how to recover from this injury.

This is referenced and covered thoroughly in Tim Grover’s book Relentless. Tim Grover coached both Michael Jordan and Kobe Bryant and describes in-depth the tenacity of Kobe Bryant.

I’d like to be critical of Kobe’s game though in some pretty fundamental ways. For the entire early part of his career, Kobe would pass vigorously for the first 3 quarters of the game. Almost to preemptively subdue the not infrequent complaints that he didn’t pass enough. When the fourth quarter came around, he would shoot a lot. I respect this tremendously as he wants to put the burden, the weight, the risk, and the glory.

So his predictability and lack of being able to integrate passing and shooting simultaneously in a surprising and spontaneous fashion was a major flaw of his.

He also definitely caused a lot of administrative strive and became a very loud squeaky wheel who often leaned on complaining instead of helping his teammates level up.

His competitive fire didn’t allow him to tolerate weakness but this prevented him from stepping into his mentorship to the degree that he could have. This dynamic slowly evolved but it did not end up where it should have been. There are also younger ex-teammates of his out there who feel unkindly towards the way Kobe handled their developmental years in the NBA.

instead of being supportive he would frequently lash out, calling them lazy, or publicly requesting that they be traded. Kobe was ruthless in his desire to win and sometimes he was completely on point with his proclamations. Other times he was young, immature, and needed to develop patience.

THE RAPE CASE

Ok and here we are. One day I’m staying up really late and I’m on the internet probably trying to instant message with potential love interests. And all of a sudden the AOL INSTANT MESSENGER pop-up news window shows me a chilling headline and image. Kobe Bryant Colorado Accused of Rape. I read the headlines in disbelief.

My first reaction was just pure devastation. I thought about how much news this would occupy and how my love of Kobe would seem even stupider and misguided than it already seemed before. f*ck. I was so hurt.

As the days went on the media attention on this case was extremely high. This was during the offseason and Kobe was in Colorado to have knee surgery. This accusation occurred when he was at the hotel facility. and involved a hotel emoloyee

MY MISOGYNY

Once the media started to report on the story, certain narratives and attitudes began to surface and be pushed.

I’d like to point out my misogyny in the way I came to Kobe’s defense. I said things like. “Are you telling me that this hotel worker would see this handsome black NBA 6’6 superstar NBA champion and not want to have sex with him” I assumed her consent based on Kobe’s high status,

This logic would mean that no famous person or person of higher societal stature could ever rape someone. Also implied with my faulty logic was that no human could only want to make out with someone, but not have sex. By this standard consent was an all or nothing encounter.This clearly demonstrated such a surface-level understanding of anything at all.

This event contributed to the most misogynistic logic I’d ever use in “defense” of an issue…

And to be clear, there still remains many complexities about that case to be addressed and considered.

This line of misogynistic defense was fueled and encouraged by the frequent media coverage that scrutinized her previous sex life. Diligently painting a picture of a loose promiscuous woman.

While I’m not completely a stranger to why I felt this was appropriate logic, it is in fact an unacceptable way to think about things.

Promiscuity or not doesn’t mean she consented to this specific instance because she’d been sexually active. Nor did the lower status (compared with Kobe’s) of her previous partners play a relevant role in Kobe’s innocence or guilt.

My logic was steeped in defensive, hurt, misogyny, and potentially victim-blaming.

Kobe Bryant took the basketball court during his drawn-out court battles that would ensue the following year. His playing was remarkable. He seemed to be possessed by some sort of drive to excel.

Whatever troubles he was facing off the court, translated to pure excellence on the court.

Being a Kobe fan was different now. Memes came out with jerseys sporting “the Rapers” in Lakers font.
Dave Chappelle’s made a skit called love contract. The punchline “Kobe!” as he shot a condom into the trash can, has become an iconic phrase to shout as you toss papers into a waste bin. People yell “Kobe! “ in this fashion, often with little idea what skit it came from, and the inextricably linked subtext of what that means. The skit is below.

Dave Chappelle also made jokes about how Kobe was playing so well on the court during this period of time it looked like he was playing for his freedom. And as ridiculous and facetious a statement this might have been. I will comment on something disturbing.

His athletic performance and his incredible stretch of excellence during this time period absolutely took the heat of his trial. I’m going to very soon defend Kobe, but this is a very interesting and disturbing component.

I recall that by the time the criminal trial had reached a conclusion, Kobe’s official public statement regarding this case had slipped quietly under the country’s radar. America was suffering from its’ Amnesia.

The statement is below:

“First, I want to apologize directly to the young woman involved in this incident. I want to apologize to her for my behavior that night and for the consequences, she has suffered in the past year. Although this year has been incredibly difficult for me personally, I can only imagine the pain she has had to endure. I also want to apologize to her parents and family members, and to my family and friends and supporters, and to the citizens of Eagle, Colorado.

I also want to make it clear that I do not question the motives of this young woman. No money has been paid to this woman. She has agreed that this statement will not be used against me in the civil case. Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognize now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way I did. After months of reviewing discovery, listening to her attorney, and even her testimony in person, I now understand how she feels that she did not consent to this encounter.”

I issue this statement today fully aware that while one part of this case ends today, another remains. I understand that the civil case against me will go forward. That part of this case will be decided by and between the parties directly involved in the incident and will no longer be a financial or emotional drain on the citizens of the state of Colorado”

I’ll never forget reading these words and being shaken by them. So on one hand, Kobe was free and out of criminal danger, and on the other, he had admitted in tightrope walking legalese that the encounter was not felt to be consensual.

I’d now like to play devil’s, advocate, in a very big way and start to close out how this chapter in Kobe’s life lead to certain telling dynamics after his death.

After this case concluded, we heard of no trouble from Kobe and began to see media about his devotion as a wonderful father and his seemingly rehabilitated relationship with his wife. The two separated and remarried. While appearances are certainly only a small part of the story, all signs of Kobe Bryant’s post-NBA career showed development and maturity.

The night before the accident, Kobe Bryant had congratulated Lebron James on surpassing his scoring title. This was a record that probably meant the world to Kobe Bryant. When Lebron broke his record, Kobe was exuberant, excited, supportive, and had at that moment shed his ego to celebrate the pure excellence of a basketball player SURPASSING his long-standing record. This was a new Kobe.

He put out an Instagram post about passing on the torch to Lebron, the great player in the current Lakers era, and the next day he died.

Kobe Bryant’s death rocked America in many ways. It was a substantial and epic loss to members of the basketball community, fans, and African Americans. Kobe Bryant meant a lot to a whole lot of people.

I was napping when I received this text message from my cousin. “Dude Kobe Died!?” Groggy and from my nap, I didn’t believe it. But it wasn’t before long that I was watching news stories while video tapping my reaction to this historic tragedy. I ran to my brother’s room and grabbed the number 24 jersey. I’d only worn 8 as my relationship with Kobe had been a bit troubled.

When he died though, I reverted to pure love for him. This loss shook me.

I went downstairs and was completely aware of the complicated nature this death would hold for my fiercely intersectional feminist mother.

The degree to which the country was mourning Kobe was disturbing to her given the legal troubles. We discussed this matter thoroughly and I explained to her the tremendous pain I was in and the torn feelings I had.

However, I took a big stand and called her out when she called Kobe a predator. NO! This was not a Harvey Weinstein case, this was an isolated incident, never any rumors of anything else.

For the record, this in NO WAY establishes innocence, but predator seemed like really a lot. We discussed this with care and She retracted this statement genuinely, as we discussed the complicated factors.

She quickly acknowledged that she had been insensitive and not taking into account certain nuances. Including the ones discussed later that Shishi Rose (@shishi.rose), an Instagram powerhouse and incredible activist, quickly came to the defense with.

She also acknowledged that no matter whatthis was not the time to make such opinions public. This was a private discussion of her personal feelings and struggles (which I’m now publishing). She knew how much this loss meant to me, but at the same time, the situation had the potential to deeply wound.

Nonetheless, any condemnation would be pretty insensitive, callous, and if completely out of the norm, would definitely scream of racism.

In contrast, the fact that Gayle King received death threats for some of the things mentioned during an interview with WNBA superstar Lisa Leslie, is pretty out of control and upsetting. I understand though simultaneously how having a false accusation could stir a lot of anger when mentioned on the day someone dies.

Me Too, oscar.

In the aftermath of me too movement, it was very difficult for some people to see Kobe Bryant win an Oscar the first year that Harvey Weinstein had been exiled from Hollywood.

I love Kobe and his basketball film “Dear Basketball” was an endearing love letter to basketball in the form of a sketch-style animation. But to many, it felt l like a slap in the face.
I fully understand that and felt that myself, while also feeling proud of my childhood icon. It was very complex and troubling.

To some people, the entire country’s mourning could have presented some triggering challenges. To some, this felt like the mourning of a rapist.

One such person was an artist who plays on the sexuality of fruits named Stephanie Sarley. She posted a stark black and white image saying Kobe Bryant is a rapist.

While this issue is no small way a major complicating factor to how I feel. I would like to dissect what went on here and examine the full motives and subtext.

Stephanie Sarley is definitely a feminist (white feminism tho). Her art is too. However, every post she had ever made had basically been colorful fruit being sexualized. The page was full of colors and fruit and that was that. When Kobe died, stark letters in a pronounced fashion on the day of his death. Kobe Bryant is a rapist.

Now, I am really familiar with how much pain this could cause. The fact that everyone is mourning someone you think is violent and being celebrated in spite of societal violence towards women.

However, I would like to point out the brilliant and incomparable Shishi Rose, who came quickly to the rescue and called out Stephanie’s Sarley racism in the way she addresses this matter.

I don’t remember exactly what Shishi said (it has since been deleted), but it called in to view the long history of black men being falsely accused of rape in America by white women. We recently heard a confession on the deathbed of the woman who caused a horribly brutal death to Emmett Til through her malicious fabrications and lies.

While there was a public statement. This is entirely plausible. Kobe Bryant could have committed adultery but be falsely accused of rape and Due to the dominating and painful nature this case could cause, he chose to make a statement and then deal with the civil actions. Bringing this chapter to a class and ending all uncertainty.

This is by no means my account or the facts of what happened. But it’s entirely plausible in the history of this country that such an injustice could and would happen to a black man.

If Emmit Till died from an accusation of a false whistle. Why is it so hard to believe that an NBA star would make a case closing false confession to end a barrage of media scrutiny and marital strife?

I have no answers as to what happened. But despite Stephanie’s legitimate pain, the discrepancy in her behavior towards Kobe as a black man and the rest of the predators of American society (as vocalized on her IG account) screamed of pure racism.

Shishi is absolutely correct. She also called out Stephanie for her first post of the kind being on the day he and others died. She closed out by saying something like “stick to fingering fruit.” which was perfect.

Stephanie later deleted that unacceptable message. But started posting about how rape victims should not be silenced.

I fully agree with this!!! Rape victims should never be silenced. But I heard about this from her, in the aftermath of Kobe’s death.

A certain ex-female senator running for president in 2016 had facilitated the silence of her husband’s rape victims more than a decade earlier. As well as contributed to unbelievable violence towards women overseas with her policies just prior to her run. I did not hear Stephanie Sarley and other white women say word one about that.

Maybe they were vocal about this, but it definitely got lost in a sea of the pants suit and nasty woman love she received.

I do not seek to defend rapists or silence rape victims or anyone wishing to express a grievance or unpopular dissenting viewpoints.

However, the degree to which this media was out of pocket for the account coupled with the insensitivity to the event, spoke volumes. Not about guilt or innocence, because it couldn’t have either way.

The only other time I’d seen Stephanie Sarley this passionate was when Miley Cyrus completely stole her artwork and was actively being deceptive about it.I remember being so upset when I discovered her work was being used without her payment.

Despite the one-sided attention and focus received, this wasn’t just an accident involving Kobe. There were 8 other people who died in that helicopter accident. Making the accident about the worst thing one of them has ever allegedly done… is spiritually flawed. This appeared to be Stephanie Sarley’s first public/ Instagram stance against rape. (PS. obviously, she is against rape but the comfort she demonstrated vocalizing anti-Kobe sentiments on the day of his death was telling)

By all means, rapists should be held accountable and called out. The issue was, Stephanie Sarley didn’t call out rapists on her Instagram account. I’d never seen a post like that ever before. I scrolled down to see if any of the white men who have been implicated in sexual abuses had been chastised on her feed. None. Just fruit.

Simultaneously, I had empathy for the feeling. I was crushed devastated, and yet I felt for my mother and her torn feelings about how powerful men can continually perpetuate violence towards women with little consequence. Not just little consequence, often it is accompanied by wealth, fame, glory, accolades, etc. It is tremendously painful and unfair. I cannot imagine.

That being said what really sad if this was just a lone false accusation and all this man had ever done wrong is a struggle with monogamy which is an entirely human thing. What a deplorable and terrible stain on a legacy for no good reason. Again, history has shown us that this is not impossible or even uncommon. It happens often, in the past and present.

The reverse scenario is important to examine as well. I find this to be an incredibly complicated and painful issue. I don’t even know what to do with all my feelings about it.

When my father came home he was surprisingly crushed about this. My mom who had, demonstrated empathy for my pain, just wanted him to acknowledge the complicated nature of this for her.

I could never finish saying everything about Kobe and may add some miscellaneous things or info. But I will close with this…

My brother is 9 years younger than me, therefore we were always at different stages of life. For the first part of his life, he emulated and copied everything I did. It used to be a bit annoying even.

I remember being disturbed and worried at the degree to which my brother exhibited love for Kobe Bryant. I was fizzling out of the stage where I was obsessed with a grown adult male’s athleticism, and he was just getting into a sports-centric phase. This was also mixed with the dynamics of emulating one’s older sibling. Loving Kobe was one way he showed his connection and love for me. Nonetheless, the degree to which he worshiped Kobe was disturbing and ironically left me concerned, I finally understood how my parents felt.

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Thank you so much for reading, it really means the world to me and this was by no means an easy post to write or publish I will leave some memories and aspects of Kobe I like or things want to highlight down here.

SCOLDING LEBRON JAMES

This is a video of Kobe scolding Lebron James for twice passing up the opportunity to shot the game-winning shot. Here Kobe is shining. This is Kobe at his most Kobe in my eyes. Here he is urging a competitor who he is egging on because he wants to maximize their potential. He cannot fathom a world in which he would not want to take that’s hot himself. Taking the glory, the risk, the burden, and the weight of the event on his own shoulders, Kobe could not fathom a world where a superstar would twice pass to his teammates. Lebron James after all was the best player on his team. Kobe gave himself the nickname Black Mamba, which didn’t personally do anything for me. But it represented his love of his killer instinct that would never allow him to pass the ball twice simultaneously when he had the chance to singlehandedly secure the win.

The thing that is amazing, is that Kobe looks, bewildered, upset, and truly disappointed, and puzzled at Lebron’s lack of taking control.

DUNK VS NUGGETS

This is just a fancy beautiful play. Robert Horry on the inbounds pass. I love this one.

LAST GAME CRITIQUE

Everyone was raving about how incredible Kobe Bryant’s last game of basketball was. He scored 60 points. Uneblievable. And that is unbelievable but

Here is a very good critique about the last game Kobe Played. This was an insane game where he scored 60 points. He shot the ball so many times. It was truly embarrassing and a bad display of basketball.

Simultaneously to this, it was actually kind of exceptional to see the support, energy, and love Kobe generated in this stadium. He literally had everyone rooting for him to score as many points as possible. Kobe has always wanted to be the main star, the main scorer, and despite the statistical inefficiencies required, he put up a mindbogglingly high 60 points in the last game of his career.

This even for social reasons, as well as the physicality of it, is quite a feat.

KOBE’S 81 point game

Kobe’s grandma only saw him play live once in person. On that day he scored 81 points. The second-highest total in NBA history and highest in the modern era.

This too was shenanigans but undoubtedly part of NBA history. Here is every basket in that game in 3 minutes and 4 seconds.